& the day finally arrived!

I had for a few months, Braxton Hicks. But once the real contractions started, it was no mistake that we new we would meet our baby soon. It was Thursday, June 17, after lunch I started timing out my contractions at work on a piece of paper by my desk. Towards the end of the day they started to get worst, but I refused to leave work, because they might of stopped. I went home and Scott and I walked around town, timing my contractions and they got worst and worst.


A storm rolled in that evening and it was bad. Thunder and lightening and a downpour of rain. We left for the hospital after midnight. They trip to the hospital 30 minutes away, seemed to take 2 hours with the storm.


We both ran into the ER and they wheeled me to the birth center. After I was all set up with an epidural, Scott and I both slept a little, but I woke up soon after, thinking to myself that I didn't want to do this anymore and I was scared of pushing this baby out of me, I decided that I would just keep her inside of me.


After a few hours, it was time to push....and after 3 hours of pushing our baby was finally here. Scott told me "It's a girl!" I requested that he tell me instead of the doctor.

Everlly Jeanette Kloth was born, 8 lbs. 8 ounces, 19 inches long and a head FULL of dark, black, thick hair!

Where to go from here.

I didn't sleep at all that night and woke up the next morning walking around like a zombie. Where to go from here, when you felt at the time, we received 'devastating news'.


We were told we had to go to the genetics department and talk with a doctor that dealt with this sort of thing. To be honest, she was awful, she had NO bedside manner and made us feel even worse than before. Scott was ready to blow up at her, but he didn't. I remember he was taking his styrofoam coffee cup and scraping up and down on the sides with his finger & 'she' keep on giving him a dirty look. We also had Kara, the genetics counselor, in the room with us. She was wonderful and gave us peace of mind. She actually explained to us, what we didn't understand what the doctor had told us.


The next step was another ultrasound, one of MANY. Our doctor, Dr. Mascola, she is truly the best doctor I have ever had. She kept us in the loop and during the ultrasounds she explained to us and showed us what they needed to keep an eye on. Everlly's ventricles in her brain were enlarged and had to be measured every month to see if they grew or were staying the same size. Another thing we had to worry about was Hydrocephalus or 'water on the brain'. If she did have that when she was born she might of had to have a stint to drain it over time. Luckily, she never needed that.


Everlly also had other markers of a baby with Down Syndrome. Thickness on the back of the neck, an Echogenic Intracardiac Focus, which is a small bright spot seen in the baby’s heart, short femur measurements and nasal bone measurements.


Every time we had an ultrasound it took a long time and we were stressed out every time. But on the otherhand, we got to see our baby a lot, and get lots of beautiful pictures and we didn't mind that one bit.


I remember in one of the last ultrasounds we could see the hair on her head on the ultrasound. Little did we know how much she would be born with!


I guess after a while we just came to accept the fact of our child having Down Syndrome, even though there might of still been a chance our baby wouldn't have it.

& so it began.....

Scott and I found out we were pregnant Sunday, October 18, 2009. We had gone to Walmart and I decided I wanted apple cider, Scott immediately decided that I was pregnant....I said I just wanted apple cider, which I never wanted it before, but just was craving it. We took the pregnancy test and waited....waited....waited. Scott looked at it and with sad look and a pout, he said, "It's negative!" I can still see and hear his expression and voice in my head to this day. I said, "It's negative???" as I looked over the test, "NO, it's positive!" Scott thought 2 pink lines meant it was negative! We were both shocked! I cried, tears of joy and just plain being scared out of my mind! Scott assured me everything would be fine!


As the months went by and the morning sickness surpassed, it was our BIG 20 week ultrasound! Finally this day had come, how exciting we get to see our little bundle of joy, but we decided, well mostly me and having to convince Scott, that we didn't want to know the sex of the baby. I wanted a surprise, after all how many great surprises are there now? They did the usual measuring, which took forever, but even though my back was killing me, seeing our child was amazing! The technician left and during our long wait, baby started to move, I was feeling it for a couple weeks, but Scott never did. He put his hand on my belly and "BAM" the baby kick, it kicked so hard that it actually moved Scott hand up! What a wonderful moment!


I guess a never really suspected anything with how long it was taking them to get back into the room by us, but when the doctor came back in, he looked some more at the baby, smiled at us and left the room.


We headed to my regular 'baby doctor' and I can still remember how much we were laughing, Scott was being his usually comical self and I literally had tears running down my cheeks from laughing so hard and trying to get him to be quiet!


The doctor along with a student and she asked me if I felt as if there was any thing wrong when we were getting the ultrasound done. "No" I said. As she explained, our child looks to have markers of that of a baby with Down Syndrome might have, I feel to pieces....tears rolled down my cheeks and I remember looking at the student, she held a box of tissues in her hand and she gave them to me. I tried so hard to strong and not cry even harder than I already was.


I still don't even remember what my doctor was saying to me, the only thing I heard was Down Syndrome...feeling Scott's hand on my back and looking at the student with this incredibly sad look on her face.


So much information within a 10 minute office visit and I didn't even know what she was saying.


We left the room and we to go see my mom, which she worked in one of the labs in the clinic. I couldn't even walk, Scott held me up and I would take a minute to duck into a corner and cry some more, Scott would pick be back up again and we finished the almost seemingly long trip up to my mom's work area.


I cried....of course I cried when I saw my mom. We told her what the doctors told us. In my hands I had the ultrasound pictures of our baby. And as much as I don't want to admit it, I couldn't look at them, looking at them made me sad, mad and down-right well pissed off about the whole situation. "WHY? This is suppose to be one of the most incredible moments of our lives and now what?"


My mom took the pictures and gazed at them saying, "Jami, look at your baby, it's beautiful"...........(thank you mom, I love you!)

The Beginning

This is the start of my brand-spanking new blog. I am not a writer and don't consider myself that witty and don't believe to have a wide-variety of whimsical words I can use, but this is for Everlly, my almost 10 month old daughter. She the most honest and beautiful thing that I have ever done in the 27 years I have been on this earth. Everlly has Down Syndrome and I'm very proud to say that I am a mother to a child with Down Syndrome. I will from time to time tell our story of how 'Our Everlly' has changed our lives.